14th April 2012

Cont....
Within a couple of minutes, our teeny little poppet was born, whisked off to be checked out & for Mark to 'cut the cord'.  She looked ok, from what I could see, but she wasn't making much noise. I remember hearing the paediatrician say something about oxygen & I watched what looked like a monstrous mask go over her little tiny face.
Her.... wow...still can't quite believe I can say that.  We have a daughter.  What a weird feeling that is. She weighed 2600grams.  Her head looked like a tennis ball.
I got to have a little cuddle while Mark held an oxygen tube at her nose, but the cuddle was only long enough for a few photo's to be taken & then she was handed to daddy briefly before they  took her off to special care.
I lay there in theatre, not doing anything but waiting.  I assumed I was waiting to go out to recovery once all the stitching was done, to be handed our precious little girl & really get a good look at her. But...she had been admitted to the SCN for a few issues, including low oxygen saturation levels & low blood sugar.
Once we were back in my room I felt lost. Really really lost.  I'd had 3 big strong boys before, who all came to my room with me, who all snuggled in & slept while I watched them breathe in & out....& in & out.  But there we were....without her.  I was gutted.
Mark ended up going over to SCN & took a video & some photo's of her with his iPhone for me to watch. By the time he got back, the morphine was taking over & I was falling into the land of nod.
The rest of the day is a bit of a haze.  I remember my parents bringing the boys up to meet her & having to go over to SCN to get a peek.  I remember midwives coming in & out checking my obs every 5 minutes (or so it felt), I remember my phone ringing, Mark calling people & getting to shove the long awaited chocolate in my mouth (if I didn't, my dad would have polished off the box).
Before I knew it, dinner had arrived & shortly afterwards, so did Mabel. They bought her over, still connected to her breathing machine with a feeding tube up her nose, but I didn't care....holding her felt like heaven.
We have various hurdles in our 8 day stay at the Wesley Hospital, all of which revolved around getting Mabel to feed so we could take her home.  There was mention of us going home without her, which I just couldn't imagine doing, so we worked hard to get the feeding sorted in time.
Taking her home with us on the morning of day nine was the best feeling.  I was exhausted, she needed feeding every 2 hours, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world.


What an amazing 11 months we've had. I cannot believe we are looking down the barrel of our baby girl turning one.   I am still so exhausted. It has been a hard slog, she is a lot of work.  She has had so many tummy issues, sleep issues, wind issues, reflux issues, been on medication, been back to the hospital, allergic reactions (we think), delayed development, teething issues, food refusal, bowel spasms & so much more.  But my God she's gorgeous.  She has a smile that can light up my world & eyes that mesmerise those who look at her.  She is cheeky, feisty & determined.
So far she has 2 teeth & just yesterday (after a week of hellish nights) she has another one.
Welcome to the world sweet Mabel Jane, I think I am finally getting used to having you in it.

14th May 2011

Like far out man...

Its early Saturday morning & Ive certainly been in a whirlwind since my last entry.
It went something like this...

Mark arrived looking like a bunch of nerves on Wednesday morning & was quickly taken to get himself gowned up. We had theatre staff visit & ask their 100 questions, we had the anaethatist come & talk to us, discuss my choices of spinal block or epidural...i decided to go with the spinal with a 'just in case' tube put in the epidural space for extra pain relief.
I didn't really want any morphine, it does weird things to me including the shakes, extreme itching & blister/coldsores.
But...when you are faced with getting your gizzards cut out, then the most powerful drug seems to be the best option.
They then came to get us & we made the walk from maternity to theatre, no stopping, no detours, just straight in. Woah!!! Talk about surreal! Theatre didn't look as I had remembered it, they changed it around a bit which was a little off putting. One thing that stays the same is it's freezing in there, so glad they bought me a heated blanket. Shiver shiver!!!

The anaethatist did his thing & actually did it really well...talking to me the whole time about what he was doing & how it was going to feel, all the while checking how i was doing. Sweet man really, was glad I had him on the job.
That feeling of laying down after those needles go in your back is a weird one. THEN of course they tilt the bed so that it all works evenly. Yuk...not a sensation I really enjoy even though they assured me i wouldn't fall off!

So there we are...in theatre, prepped, ready, waiting...waiting...
I felt them paint that orange stuff all over me, as well as put the catheter in, but neither were unpleasant...I just knew what they were doing.
So....where is my OB??? Hmmmmmmm....bit difficult to have a baby without him there to do his thing. He was only a couple of minutes late but at the time it felt like an eternity.
He doesn't disappoint either....
'Hi Matey, how's it going? Thought I'd try & get rid of my hangover by having a couple of beers before theatre but it didn't work'! Ha ha... He's a funny guy!
I replied with ... 'That's ok, I smoked a joint earlier to calm my nerves & it didn't work either'! That got a laugh! ;)

So...we're down to business & Mark is standing up watching the whole thing! I couldn't do anything except lay there & stare at him & watch for his reactions. Was pretty cool actually, he had this look of amazement & awe & wonder. I wish i could have seen what he was seeing... But he did a pretty good job of commentating it.
Ross cut out my scar tissue from my last 2 babies...& of course held it up for me to have a look offering to fry it up for me. Lol. What a dag!

11th May 2011

Today is THE day!

Been awaken since 5am. I'm showered, ready to go...kinda!
OB has been in to see me. He walks in & says... 'Morning Mate...ready for the chopping block?'
How can you answer that besides laugh? I guess that's his intention.
He has assured me that we have to go with the flow this morning, but to be confident that we have professionals who know what they are doing who do this day in & day out...we are in good hands.
I'd like to say I'm feeling calm, but I'm not, I'm a big bunch of nervy nerves & this waiting part I think is the worst!!!
Mark has just arrived (on time) & doesn't look like he's had any more sleep than me. I think I got about 4 solid hours after being awake for over 40. No doubt I shall enter zombie land later on!
I think that's about it for this morning. Hopefully this waiting time will go by fast. It's 7:40am... Not long now...

See you on the flip side....

9th May 2011

Getting down to business...

I'm in hospital...& I'm not having any fun! But first things first...

I thought I'd spend the weekend relaxing & packing a few final things to bring to hospital, but I just couldn't do it! I was really lucky to have my sister Leah do my grocery shopping for me with the help of my beautiful boy Jake. Was such a relief not having to do that.
I washed, cleaned, organized, did the banking, cooked some meals, printed up schedules...you name it, I managed to do it all, anything but sit & do nothing except watch the clock.

I went to bed around 11pm when I was feeling quite sleepy & fell asleep really easily. Bonza!!! However, I was woken up at 3 am in a damn hypo! I really hate waking up to that feeling, it's frightening, exhausting & basically just a complete sleep wrecker!!!
I got myself my little bottle of magic & got my BSL up pretty quickly, but then of course my muscles were like jelly & I couldn't settle back down. I ended up sitting up watching the Movie 'Step Mom'. Great movie, but a bit of a tear jerker.
I dragged myself back to bed at 4:30am...dreading my alarm that was set for 6am...

6am..... Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep be.... Faaaaaaaaaaaaark!
Up, showered, dressed, breakfast, teeth, hair, mum & dad arrive, Julian wakes up, quick cuddle, try not to cry, zip up suitcase, leave instructions with Mum to get my 'under the weather' munchkin to the doctors, hugs & kisses for Riley, try not to cry, cuddle Jake, say goodbye, try not to cry again, get in the car & wham....my morning at home was gone & we were on our way...& I even managed to bring my nerves & anxiety with me!

I was actually ok once we got to the hospital, I was settled into my room straight away & we sat in there waiting for that dreaded first steroid injection. In comes the middie, jabs it in my leg & Holy Mother of God that freakin' hurt! And over about 5 minutes... It just got worse! That damn thing made my leg throb a deep burning throb for about an hour. I was soooooo looking forward to the next one in 12 hours!

Canular in, Endocrinologist was called & the middies had their instructions. 'Wait till BSL is on then rise & call me back. Took my levels about 4 hours to start to climb, but once they did, they went for it.

So now it's almost 11pm of my first night in here. I have since had my 2nd steroid injection... Which did NOT go well! Picture this: Jab! Oooops, hit a blood vessel...blooooooooooooooood....sorry (she says) new needle & new attempt done & it KILLED!!!! Soooooo bloody glad that is over!

So the hourly blood sugar readings are in full swing...I'm going to be ready for the next one & take my drip to the loo & empty my stressed out squished up bladder so I can curl up & hopefully get 45 minutes sleep before the next one is due.
I miss my boys. Mark went home & picked up Jake & Julian to bring them into see me for a little while, but Riley stayed with Grandma, he's got a cold & not feeling great. Hopefully I'll see him tomorrow.

For now...that's all the excitement up to this point. Tomorrow is a whole new day. Hopefully the night will not feel too long...

7th May 2011

Plans change...

Things certainly change quickly when you are in the business of making babies!
My OB has said he doesn't like the results of the ultrasound on Wednesday & instead of going for another scan this Wednesday coming, he has decided to deliver the baby.

However it's not all as simple as just going in & having a baby.

He sent me back for another CTG on Friday & with some strict instructions to then go home for the weekend & rest up! No partying, no misbehaving!
Monday I'm being admitted for two days of steroids & of course because I have Gestational Diabetes I have to go onto an insulin infusion drip & have my blood sugar level tested every hour for two days...ugh! Soooooo not looking forward to that!
But Wednesday is THE day! We are booked in for a c-section on Wednesday morning @ 9am. I'll be 37 weeks pregnant.
I can't quite wrap my head around it all & of course there's that awful feeling in my gut of why is the baby so small? What the hell is going on. I guess we wont know until the baby is delivered. It feels surreal. It feels scary. It feels still...out of my control!

I spent the day making sure my little family are all organized & prepared for me being gone for a week or more. There's seemed to be lots of little things to do...but think they are now all done.
Tomorrow is my last day at home..Mothers Day! How cool is that? I'm looking forward to it & just chilling out while I pack the rest of my things...including some over night things for Mark so he can stay in hospital with me & our newest munchkin on Wednesday night.

Not much else to say on the matter really. I'm feeling excited, but at the same time I'm uber anxious, super nervous & a lot scared. I wish I knew everything was going to be ok so I could just chill out for the 2 days in hospital before the big day, it's soooo going to drag!

Stay tuned....

4th May 2011

Big Day

We've made it passed the 36 week mark & I couldn't be happier...especially when you consider we thought this little one was going to be born at 32 weeks. Feels good to have got it this far!
Mark & I had an early start to our day with Mum & Dad arriving at 7am to look after Julian & then take Jake & Riley to school. We had to leave shortly after that to make our 8:15am OB appointment after getting through the early morning peak hour traffic. As it was we beat Ross there, he was off dong an emergency c/s.
Our appointment went well. He was happy with my BSL readings, blood pressure was good, weight gain was good, wee sample good etc etc. Up onto the bed I go & he does his little poke & prod before doing a quick scan to check baby's heartbeat, breathing pattern & amniotic fluid.

Then come the words....

'We still have a small bub here...what time is your growth & well being scan?'

With an hour & a half in between appointments he decided he wanted us to head down to labour ward & have a CTG done...& it was sometthing we had to do twice a week till the baby is born. So...we did!
The CTG went well & our little bubba was doing everything right. Lots of movement, great heart rate etc etc. Off to the Growth & Well Being scan we go...woot! We were soooo looking forward to seeing a little face...with chubby cheeks & even some funny face expressions.

NO SUCH LUCK!!!

Our little munchkin turned 'away' from the sonographer...hiding, not budging, being cheeky & shock horror...STUBBORN! No sneak peak for us today. Bummer!
However everything else was able to be seen. Measurments were taken & a report was typed up & even the head Sonographer got a phone call. Why? Our little cherub is measuring around 3 weeks behind. All measurments were in the 5th percentile. They estimated the baby is 4lbs 13oz....just too small!
Talk about a kick in the guts! Mark held my hand as the sonographer checked & measured & rechecked & remeasured. She has advised us that she was sending the report to Ross & that we
needed to come back next Wednesday for another Growth & Well Being scan.
I don't know what this means. I feel like we've been left hanging in the balance of everything is ok & no everything is not! I don't know if we will hear from Ross before our next appointment with him next Wednesday or what the go is. I just have no idea.
After already having boys that were born at 8lbs 6oz, 7lbs 14oz & 9lbs...this news has shaken me, I don't even know what to do with my own thoughts.
I'm finding it uber difficult to even talk about it with anyone. I'm sure things will feel better when we have some more info, but for now I'm feeling a bit helpless, emotional, worried & totally NOT in control of the situation...which I HATE!
It's going to be an interesting week ahead of us...but for now it's time to focus on something else...like Faaaaaaaaaaark....do we even have clothes small enough????

27th April 2011

Lots to catch up on...

Just when I thought the drama was over...I had another stint in hospital.  This time I went in with painful contraction type feelings, it was late at night, we had to call mum to come & stay with the boys so we could head into maternity after the midwife we called suggested we head straight on in.
Once at Maternity they took me into one of the birth suites & hooked me up to a CTG.  The middie on duty called Ross to get his instructions.  I had to stay there on the CTG machine for half an hour then Ross wanted me sedated & set up to spend the night in the labour ward....great!!!!
Mark was given the choice to stay there, but seen as though they were going to try & knock me out for the night, there really was no point.  He would be called if there were any changes. So he stayed with me until I got sleepy & then headed home to let mum go.

The night in hospital was long. All the sedation did was make me feel groggy & I didnt sleep well at all.  Not to mention the lady in one of the other birth suites letting out some deep, powerful, scary screams as she pushed her baby out at around 2:30am.  Ugh...made me shudder, but then reminded me why I was there, especially when I heard that baby cry for the first time...was so lovely.

So the night in the labour ward did nothing except convince me that those beds in there really arent for sleeping. Nothing progressed, didnt get any worse, but didnt get any better either. I was so looking forward to Ross coming to see me hopefully right after sun up.

He doesnt disappoint. He arrived just after 6am to check me out.  Lots of questions, an internal examination & he declares that it could be pre-labour & that he wants me to stay in another night to see if it progresses. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, having me in & out of hospital has proven to be a bit of a logistical nightmare that Mark is usually left to sort out.
But...some help from Mum & Jake stepping up & things have been working out.  Where would we be without family support hey?

So even though I didn't really want to stay in another night, I was pleased to be told that I was being moved to the ward, to a much more comfortable bed....thank GOD! At least I should be able to sleep better, however I did decide that when I go in to have the baby for real, I'll be taking my own pillow...nothing like your own pillow,  no matter what bed you are on.

My second night in hospital was a lot better & I even got flowers sent to me from some special friends, was so lovely & such a nice surprise.  Made me feel very loved.  Apart from the boredom, my time in there was much more pleasant than my previous visit.  The pain didnt really improve, but Ross declared it the following morning as prelabour (no dilating) & said I could go home as long as I promised to behave myself.  I promised!
Mum came to get me so Mark could get some work done. It was the last day of the school term & Riley really wanted me to be there for the drawing of their Easter raffle, so once home & Mum had left I showered & got Julian ready to head to school to surprise Riley.  Was this 'behaving' myself? Probably not, but I didn't want to let Riley down, the boys have been through enough with not having me 'up to scratch' of late.
Once at school I found myself feeling somewhat overwhelmed. The noise, the questions, the pain I still had in my abdomen....I was thinking, Oh crap, maybe this wasnt such a good idea. But there was nothing I could do about it, I was there & I had to just deal with it.  The smile on Riley's face however gave me the courage to get through it.  I certainly wasnt prepared for those feelings, talk about left field.
The feelings did subside as the raffle draw went on & on & on....& on.  At the end of it all we went up to McDonald's for a little while with some friends & had a quick bite to eat.  I was still itching to get home, but I knew once I was there I would probably just be on the lounge & not end up moving much at all, so the bit of attention I could give Riley & Julian I thought was worth it.

School holidays were a blessing & once we had Jake home from a sleep over I felt like I could really relax.  I enjoyed the time at home with them & was sad to see the holidays come to an end. Back to school today.

So while it seems I am still in prelabour, now with a 'show' last Friday, I have been encouraged (or gently ordered) by my OB to take it easy, take one day at a time, dont over do it, call if there are any changes, take pain relief when needed, & most of all just try to keep on baking. In his words...I am the best incubator for our baby, so his orders I shall follow. I dont really have much choice, there's too much pain/contracting of my uterus not to.

We had an appointment with him today & he's happy with the way things are still keeping on. He understands (yeah sure he does) that I am miserable, but...... well....I just have to do it.
My blood pressure was good, if not a little low I thought (100/40). My weight gain is pretty good, have put on 11kgs so far. He's happy with that. He still thinks the baby isnt very big so we are going for a growth & well being scan next Wednesday morning after seeing him again.

So limbo land I have been in & its limbo land it looks as though I will stay.  However,  my sweet hubbie has bought me an ipad, a new toy, something I wanted, something to keep me entertained & something I can take to hospital...I am more than thrilled & have to force myself to put it down.  I'm a lucky girl.

22 days...thats it. This baby of ours is booked in for eviction in 22 days IF in fact we make it that far. At this point in time I'm going to say that we will, simply because the not knowing is doing my head in.
My blood sugar levels haven't been overly bad, although I have had a couple of hypo's since coming home, one quite bad one that had me unable to communicate. Mark was on the ball & I came out of it only with weakness & extreme tiredness. They are scary to say the least & we will all be so so happy to see the end of them.
Sooooo many more boring details to blog about but I'm afraid I'd be here all night & this little waddling duck needs to get to bed.
Tomorrow...is 21 days... Bake away little bubba! 

4th April 2011

WOW....

Where to start?  Dates...I shall start with dates...

31st March 2011...

Woke up feeling less than average.  I had been woken through the night with pains in my lower back that were a little more than the normal pregnancy putting a strain on my back pains. I thought...I'll just lay here for a bit & maybe it will go away. 
Mark got the boys ready for school & took Julian with him to drop them off.  By the time he got back I was actually feeling quite worried. The pain that was in my back was now coming around to the front in waves of deep period type pain....I thought, this can't be good! I was starting to feel sick :(

Mark returned home & came in to see me. Took one look & said....'Are you ok?' All I could manage was a quick shake of my head while some tears started to fall.  So he packed a bag for Julian, got changed out of his work gear, loaded Julian in the car & then took me to the hospital.  All the way in there I kept getting these pains thinking....Oh crap Oh crap Oh crap!

I was taken into labour ward & put straight onto a CTG. My OB came in, did an internal examination after having me describe what was happening & then told me although he was happy that my uterus was still long & closed (no dilation),  he was still putting me on steroids & sending me for bloods, urine tests & an ultrasound. He was concerned about the placenta.  If it comes back that its failing (although that's not the word he used), we need to be ready to take the baby today/tomorrow, the steroids are for the baby's lungs.
At that point I felt like  I had been taken out of the situation & my thoughts were not my own.  Sounds odd...but I didn't actually have those feelings of panic anymore...just, Oh wow...how did I get here type thoughts....like I said...ODD!

After giving blood & urine samples, we sat there on that CTG for what seemed like an eternity.  Julian was unsettled, as to be expected, but Mark did finally get him to go to sleep.  We realised quickly that we weren't getting out of there in a hurry so Mark called Mum to be there to pick up our big boys & bring them in. 

Got wheeled up to have the ultrasound, which so so so thankfully found that although the baby was quiet, the placenta was in tact & there was a good amount of Liquor (amniotic fluid) around the baby. Heartbeat was perfect. Baby was laying transverse & away from us so we didnt even get a peak at its face...but  such a relief!  I thought....ah...yes I have been admitted, but perhaps now I can just go home.
NO SUCH LUCK!

What I didn't know, was that the steroids ( which I can't remember the very long name of ) were about to have a huge effect on my sugar levels. So much so that I had a canular inserted into my hand (which later leaked & had to be replaced) & a insulin infusion drip started.  Fun! NOT!

Back to the ward....& time to get settled.  I wasn't going anywhere!

I stayed in there on Thursday night, which actually felt like an eternity. I had midwives come in on the hour, every hour.  They came in to check blood sugar, readjust insulin drip, listen to the baby's heartbeat via the doppler thingy, check my temperature, my blood pressure & feel my tummy. The Braxton Hicks I came in with were still going on & at times would make me cringe. All up each time took the middies about 20 minutes, so I only had 40 minutes between them leaving & coming back....its just went on & on & on & on & I got NO sleep at all. 

At 1:30am...roll over - JAB! Another steroid injection into my butt! OUCH!!!

 

1st April 2011...

By 6am...I was STARVING!!!!  They had me fill out a menu yesterday sometime, Lord knows what I chose, I didn't actually care at the time, but by sunrise I could have eaten anything they put in front of me. 
Ooooh I can hear the breakfast ladies.... can't I????
Nope...but it was the tea/coffee/juice ladies. 
'Would you like anything luv?'
'Hell YES!' 'I'll have a cup of tea & some diet lemonade & whatever else you've got please!!!'

Good thing I had those 2 drinks because my breakfast was....um...forgotten? Lost? On it's way still????   Arrrgghhhhhh! Nope...my breakfast was cancelled because of my sugar levels & what I ticked I apparently couldn't have.  Faaarrrk!
Long story short...I ended up with eggs on wholemeal toast & another cup of tea.  It barely made a dent, but it was better than nothing!

All I wanted to do after I ate, was sleep. I felt beyond tired. There's something really twilight zone-ish about staying awake all night, puts one in an altered state I think.  I thought, maybe I'll just lay here & if they need to test my blood sugar & listen to the baby's heartbeat again in 20 minutes (which is when they were due back) then they were going to have to do it while I was asleep. Sleep....sleeeeeep...sleeeeeeeeeep...I could actually hear my own breathing getting slower & deeper. It felt good!

'HEY SLEEPY HEAD!'  Tap tap tap!  In walks my OB Ross Turner.  Big smiles. Big cheeky stiring smiles I might add. I'm sure HE thinks he's funny.  He asked me how I was feeling, I said, fine until you walked in & woke me.  He just chuckled.
Told me he was most pleased with the results over night, but to get comfy, I was going to have to stay in until he was confident I was ok.  Not to mention staying on the insulin drip because of the steroids...one more night....I can do one more night...I think!
Mum took the boys home in the arvo & did the dinner, bath etc etc thing, but then Leah took over so Mum could go home at a decent hour & Mark could stay longer with me.  Was so much nicer than spending hours & hours there by myself.

Friday was a loooooong day!  The monitoring, checking, testing etc etc every hour got old...real fast!  Mark was there as early as he could be after getting the boys to school, organising for Mum to pick them up & making sure he had what he needed for Julian for the day.  We spent the day sitting around, talking to staff, watching tv, etc etc. Julian was an angel & had a sleep for us.  Mum bought the boys in after school & took Julian home with them for dinner, bath & bed, which was a relief...a little toddler can only be in a hospital room for so long.
Friday night was much the same as Thursday night....long, no sleep.
At 4am I had another round of testing done & they decided they could disconnect me from the insulin drip, but I had to keep the canular in for the next few hours. Fine by me, just being disconnected was a blessing. Getting up to do a wee without having to drag the big dip thing with me was awesome. Small mercies.  I managed to doze off between 4:30am & 6am....sort of.
Must have been some unhappy new borns in the other rooms & they were screamers!!! Sounded cute though.  Helped remind me why I was there & made me realise I wasn't quite ready for our little munchkin to make its entrance into the world just yet.  But bring on Saturday so I could go home.....

2nd April 2011...

Saturday!!!! Yay...I made it to Saturday! I'm going home.....aren't I????
Once again I got a bit excited & was totally deflated when the OB said I couldn't go home.  I was still in pain, still being affected by the steroids ( this included swelling & redness of my face etc ) & he just didn't want to send me home only to have me come back in again. He wanted me more settled before he was confident I would be ok at home.
The endocrinologist, who had been to see me each day, came in again & checked out all my blood sugar readings. She was happy enough for me to have the canular removed....thank GOD!!! I really hate those things! Another chat from the diabetes sister & a visit from the physio broke my morning up a bit more until Mark & the boys got there.  I think he too was feeling deflated after hearing I wasn't yet being released.  But, in true Mark form, he took it in his stride! Jake & Riley might disagree, having a quiet whinge to me that Dad was a bit 'grumpy'.  Can't say I was surprised!  They were all doing really well given the cirumstances.

After Mark left I decided that I was going to try & get some sleep.  I wasn't actually feeling overly tired, but I think I was at the point of being so overtired that I didn't know what I was feeling. I just wanted to go home.
The Braxton Hicks continued through the night & I was put on the CTG again to make sure they weren't 'real' contractions.  I really am amazed at the intensity of them & the fact that they just dont seem to want to ease up. 
I slept ok, being woken up numerous times by someone just checking on me, or the other babies in the ward deciding that it was indeed NOT sleep time.  I would have loved to cuddle one of them, was making me clucky! LOL

3rd April 2011...

Morning came around faster this time.  The tea & breakfast ladies didn't seem to take soooo long to get there.  I was sure I was going home today.  I just had to be.  Waiting for the OB seemed to be the longest part of the morning. 
I got yet another visit from the Endocrinologist (who has increased my insulin again) & another visit from the physio.  Both seemed happy for me to go home, I just needed the all clear from the OB. Waiting...waiting...waiting....
..................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................

In he waltzes....big smiles.  Checked out my chart. Ordered a final CTG.  Checked my uterus (lovely experience).  Said he'd be back! Arrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh!
I waited for the CTG & thought, here we go...I'll be here for HOURS! But, next thing I know, in comes a midwife & sets me up. She leaves me for 20 minutes or so, then comes in, takes the results to the OB & I wait again for him to come back.
When he shows up, he has this look on his face.  I'm guessing its his 'serious' look.
'I'm going to let you go home', he says.  'But.....  No lifting, nothing strenuous, No stress, No pushing trolleys etc etc etc'  'Any changes....eg, blood/fluid loss, increased abdominal pain, increased back pain, minimal movements from the baby....back in! Understand?' 
I just nodded!  I have been warned!!!

I called Mark as soon as he left. He was almost as happy as me to hear the news. He headed straight in to get me.  Yahoo...what a relief!!

HOME SWEET HOME...

I got home & felt a little....lost. Perhaps I was just tired.  Didn't feel quite real. Had I just been in hospital since Thursday morning?  I most certainly felt as though I was in the Twilight Zone. 
I managed to get some sleep during the afternoon, but didn't really relaxed until I was showered & tucked into bed for the night.
Mark cooked us a lovely dinner & then made me a fruit salad for desert.  The thought of sleeping in my bed... was almost as good as actually doing it. 

4th April 2011...Back to life...

Woke up this morning feeling a little fragile. And by fragile I mean physically & emotionally. Mark took the boys to school, came home, did Julian's morning routine until sleep time, then went off to work. Mum picked Jake & Riley up from school then came in & changed Julian etc after his sleep. There wasn't much time in between to have to do much for Julian at all. 
I still feel as though I'm not going to make it to May 20th.  At this point, & the way I am feeling, I'm not sure I'm even going to make it to May at all.  However...I'm having a hard time deciphering between what is my own intuition & my own fear.
I guess time will tell.....

20th March 2011

30 weeks...

I've made it to week 30.  There were times through this past week or so where I wasn't sure I would...UGH! **insert mild melodrama** LOL

Pain Pain Go Away...

Last Saturday I didn't feel right. Actually I'll rephrase that. Last Saturday I felt 'wrong'. Just plain old wrong.  I'd been having pains across the bottom of my tummy all day, feeling really lethargic & then the rest of my body decided to join in.  Mark was at work all day & I think I spoke to him at least 3 times to give him updates of my physical decline.  By the time he got home I was lightheaded, in pain & feeling pretty fragile after not really feeling the baby since that morning.

He fed & bathed Julian, got our big boys organised & piled us all in the car before we headed into Maternity at the Wesley.  Once there I was taken straight to labour ward & put on the machine that monitors baby's heartbeat & movements. Was soooo good to hear the bubba's heartbeat sounding like an old steam train.  What a relief!
After the midwife contacted my OB she suggested, after he suggested that I stay in overnight.  Ugh....that's the last thing I wanted to do, so I stayed on that monitor for as long as the midwife said I had to, then elected to go home.
The monitoring found that the baby was quite content & that perhaps I was coming down with some kind of virus.   Some kind of virus alright...I ended up with Tonsilitis.  24 hours later I seriously felt like someone had inserted razors in my throat, drained me of all my blood & zapped me of any strength & energy I may have had left.  Antibiotics for me!!!
By the time I saw my OB again I was still struggling big time with just functioning, sleeping & keeping it all together.  His advice for me was to keep resting, keep taking the antibiotics, keep delegating jobs, keep the fluids up & keep riding it out.  I was hoping for something a little more useful...like, here, take this magic tablet, go home to bed & when you wake up you will be 100% fighting fit & healthy!  No such luck!
He has decided because I have been so ill that he wants me to record down the babies movements from waking up in the morning to 5pm. If I don't feel 10 movements/kicks he wants me to have a sweet cold drink & lay down, if the baby doesn't start kicking me, its back into the Wesley for more monitoring.  Oh Joy!

Lucky duck...

I dragged myself out of bed under my own physical protest every day this week.  Lucky for me, Markie Mark has taken care of EVERYTHING every morning. Getting big boys up, organised, fed, lunches & taken to school. He has made Julian's food for the day & put it in the fridge for me & picked things up on the way home from work that we may (& sometimes may not) need. 
He really is a fabulous husband...& I really don't tell him that enough!
Mum has been a gem & either she or dad have picked Jake & Riley up from school most days this week...what a Godsend!

Proud Mamma :D

I have 2 of THE BEST big boys! Jake & Riley....they could melt my heart at times. I would not be getting through this pregnancy without them. They are fabulous. Doing jobs for me, helping me with Julian & even giving me a massage.  I'm feeling the love & I'm one proud Mummy!

Full of drugs...

After a week of being on antibiotics, I have to say that I'm feeling ever so slightly better.  My head s still quite light/dizzy, my cough is driving me nuts & I swear I have cracked a couple of ribs with the constant barking at the world.  I can however, swallow normally now...its a step in the right direction.  I have gone through a whole pack of 24 panadiene as well as normal paracetamol...I would have killed for some Mersyndol over this past week....damn pregnancy rules!

The Ford...

More issues with my Territory. Was all good for a couple of days, but then we started to hear a distinctive 'klonk' as we went around corners....so back to Ford we go. Actually back to Ford Mark went & there he sat for 4.5 hours only to be told, sorry mate, we can't find the problem, can you bring it back another day???? WTF?
Long story short, went back in on Friday, they found the problem & fixed it...again, no out of pocket for us! Woot!


The Sisterhood...

My little sister  is NOT coming home. She will NOT be here when she has her baby. I am gutted!!! That's all I can say about that!

Just a feeling???

I'm counting kicks. I'm getting myself all ready. I'm getting my house totally organised.  I've just about got my hospital bag all packed.  About to pack the baby's hospital bag. Everything is washed. Bassinett is all set up in our room. 
I just have a feeling...
Technically I have 8 weeks & 5 days until I am booked in to be on the slab for the babe to come out through the sunroof....but I just don't feel it's going to be that long.  Is it just a feeling? I'm not sure...but it's pretty strong. 
I guess time will tell....

10th March 2011

28 weeks + 4 days...

Appointments...

I've seen my Endocrinologist & Obstetrician since my last blog entry. 

Endo - He's super duper happy with me & my efforts. Says I am going well.  He did increase my daytime before meals insulin & then praise me on my readings (which I didn't think were that great) & then basically talked to me about babies, families, kids names, birthdays etc etc...
He's such a nice man, really good at what he does with a caring nurturing nature.  
I don't mind  paying the big bucks when I have a specialist who really cares. 

OB - Ross also is super happy with my progress. My blood pressure was good (90/60), my fluid retention had decreased a bit & my headaches have eased.  He has suggested I go for a specific 15/20 minute walk every day just to help my system keep working as it should, but not to over do it. I see him again in another week, on fortnightly visits now for a little bit then its onto weekly.
He's such a jovial kinda guy.  Likes to throw a good (what he thinks is good) joke in every now & then to keep us all smiling.  Gotta love that!

The bubba...

Whilst at my appointment Ross spent a fair bit of time doing a measuring scan of sorts & came to the conclusion that the baby was measuring about a week behind my dates which is better than measuring ahead considering I have Gestational Diabetes. Let's hope this little munchkin can keep it up...with the added help of the injected insulin of course.
Julian was 9lbs....he still looked tiny to me but a little smaller might be nicer toward to end to carry...LOL

The Sisterhood...

Melissa, Brendan & their baking baby have returned to Sydney & it looks as though that might be where they are going to stay. Absolutly guts me to say that because I haven't wanted to admit that it might happen.  I have been so looking forward to them moving here so that she is here for the birth of our baby & all her family around her for the birth of her own.  Being so far away is going to be gut wrenching in those final weeks of her pregnancy & into the birth & beyond. 
It's so hard to be supportive of a decision you don't want someone to make.  I'd like some one to explain to me why it ALL can't be about what I want...totally sux man! I am totally bummed!!!

Things are changing...

My rock/dirt/mud/weeds driveway is FINALLY coming to an end.  My car now fits in our garage after Mark got in & sorted things out. Its been a storage shed basically since we built this house & I've never had the pleasure of parking in my own garage. I feel like the house has got bigger & its awesome...I'm loving it. Still a fair bit out there to organise (AKA throw out) but one step at a time.
Mark has organised with our BIL Gary to get the driveway poured. Not only will I be parking in the garage but I will also have a smooth mudless drive INTO the garage. It's all happening...I am so excited!!!  Funny how something so simple can make such an amazing difference.

Getting stuck...

Last Sunday we went to Broadbeach. Jake had a 7am beach training session with Karate.  It was a 5am start to the day for us all, but he had a great time so it makes it all worth it.
We took Riley & Julian down onto the beach to play & of course I took my Nikon to try & get some good beach photo's.  (love beach pics, they are my fav)
Julian was playing in the sand, looking oh so cute, but to get the shot of him I wanted I had to get down lower...so you guessed it, I squatted!!!
Holy snappin' duck shit!!! BIG mistake.  Click click click....oooh got a few of the same shot so I can choose the best one....woot...happy Megan! Now to get up!
Aaaaaand heave!  ......  nothing!  Heeaaaave..... still nothing!  Ah...Riley...can you come & help Mummy up?  After he had a chuckle (little poop) he tried with all his mite to help me up with no sucess. I stayed in that squatting position until a giggling Mark came over to me, braced himself in the sand & pulled me up!  So not funny (at the time!)
Damn sciatic nerve had pinched & it left me with NO strength in my right leg to even try & get myself back up.  Talk about a beached whale!!!
Oh the freakin' joys!!!!

Getting ready...

I think I'm ready! I mean...I think I have everything ready. Apart from buying nappies I have everything I need purchased, washed & put away waiting for our new arrival. I have even started getting things together for my hospital bag.  Pays to be organised...right???
Heading out tomorrow to hopefully pick up some new pj's...then I can wash & pack them too! 

Countdown...

This time in 10 weeks I'll counting down mere hours till the big event.

BRING  IT   ON!!!